The first birth.

I apologize for the lack of writing these past months.  Blogging takes a lot more discipline than it seems!

Upon reflecting on the last post about the vulnerability I’ve been experiencing in this pregnancy, I decided that I needed to add that I have lots of hope and encouragement, not only from women around me and support of my families, but from God himself.  His scripture is abounding in promises to help us in times of need, to keep our minds steadfast, and to provide us with peace; all of which come in handy when you are pregnant for the first time and are constantly faced with unknowns.

I wanted to share specifically some scripture that has truly impacted me.

Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.  She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” (Genesis 4:1).

This is closest thing to the first birth recorded in Scripture, and what is her reaction?  Not fear, but JOY!  “With the help of the Lord” is what I find to be most appealing in her words.  I mean, could you image what it would be like to be the very first pregnant woman?  No other women around, no articles and ‘Google’ to look things up, no doctor to to reassure that everything is okay, and certainly no Bradley Method birthing classes to prepare you for pain in labor!  She looks to the Lord for help, and he provides!  This is also an encouraging verse because just one chapter prior to that, Eve rebels against God, and here He still blesses her with a safe pregnancy/delivery and a healthy child.

All throughout the Bible, one can see that the God of the universe is there for us.  He wants us to call out for Him, and to seek him in times of plenty, and in times of want.  Her are some verses I will be using in labor…

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.  When I said, “My foot is slipping,”  your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. (Psalm 94:17-18)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Another theme throughout scripture is that our minds are powerful and what we believe manifests through how we live.  Here are some scripture I am using also in labor to remind me what to think about…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7)

…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. (Col. 2:8)

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; (Romans 8:6)

Knowing these promises makes me excited to embrace the pains of labor, knowing I will receive comfort and solace.  If I dwell on these, and trust what God is saying, suddenly I feel peace knowing it certainly will “be okay”.

Pregnancy Vs. Marriage

So along with pregnancy comes some hard but necessary changes with marriage…

It all started with a simple miscommunication that lead to a out and out fight over principles.  After about 4 of these types of arguments in a two week span, Mark and I decided to call a truce and seek some counsel.  So who did we call, none other than our friends, the Pryors.

Without the conversation we had with them , I don’t know where Mark and I would be right now.  I know one thing, though, it would be not united.  What was most valuable was hearing language wrapped around the things I was feeling from a couple who have gone through pregnancy 5 times.  I felt very understood, as did Mark, to a point of almost epiphany.

Turns out, the more pregnant I have become, the more vulnerable I feel.  And my inability to explain this mysterious phenomenon was the root to the miscommunication Mark and I had been experiencing.

When a woman becomes pregnant, things change.  Her body no longer resembles the youthful shape it once had.  She looks in the mirror and realizes she is no longer in control of her ever changing waistline.   Her mind wonders into what kind of mother she will be, how prepared she is, and what color is the crib going to be…along with fears and anxiety if whether or not she is ready for such a permanent responsibility.  Of course she chose this path and God blessed it, but as time passes the weight of the change begins to sink heavier.

This may be a dramatization for some, but this is what I’ve been going through.

As things progress with pregnancy, I find my self teetering on the line of utter fear and complete bliss.  It’s been incredible thus far, nothing I can’t handle and definitely not to far from normality, but when I look ahead to the palethera of unknowns it’s hard for me to rely on the simple fact that it’s going to be okay. With all this being said, I haven’t been handling the external changes of life very well…

So, as these feelings surfaced, and I was still unable to articulate them, I found myself expecting Mark to understand and filter all of his ideas/thoughts/challenges through this ‘pregnancy’ lense.  Obviously, an unrealistic expectation, you can only image the arguments we got in when I immediately refuted Mark’s proposed excursion to Seattle in January just weeks after our due date.   I was hurt and even questioned his commitment to our family. ‘How could you brainstorm such a vacation with all the unknowns in front of us’, was my thought, and ‘I have no idea why you are freaking out right now’ were his thoughts.

After realizing that I have been feeling vulnerable, and have been expecting Mark to “protect” me from too much, and after realizing that the process I went about telling Mark these feelings was incredibly disrespectful, we sort-of looked at each other and went, “Ohhhh.”

It has definitly gotten better since the intital conversation with the Pryors, who helped us come to this realization.  We approach each other in a way that is first trusting of the other person, and second respectful of how each one is feeling right now in this ‘pregnancy state’.

Cool Pregnancy Resources

Some cool things I have found that I must share with your preggers out there…

Sweet Maternity Tees – http://www.maternityblanks.com/

super soft, and nice quality, under $10 so grab a few!

Online Wishlist/Registry – www.wishpot.com

This is pretty cool.  You can register for anything you see online, from any store and it make a wishlist for friends and family to view online.  One downfall is that is all online, Grandma might not get you want from this one…

Ohdeeoh – www.ohdeeoh.com

Nursery design blog.  Really neat ideas for nursery or your home!

BabyFit – www.babyfit.sparkpeople.com/homepage.asp

Cool articles and an exercise tracker/nutrition tracker.

Make your own Maternity Jeans – http://patchworkprincess.blogspot.com/2006/02/how-to-tuesday-maternity-jeans.html

Books I highly Recommend:

BabyWise – By Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam, Robert Bucknam, M.D.

The Chrisitian Women’s Guide to Childbirth – By Debra Evans

Week 24 Update

Hey everyone.

This is what the ‘ol belly looks like these days….

I had my fourth OB visit and everything is well.  Heart beat sounded great, and the doctor said I am growing as normal.  I asked him about my crazy heartburn and he said Zantac!

Other than heart burn and the occasional back ache or pain, I don’t have any complications…Yet.

It’s been fun to be actually showing, as people come up and rub my tummy and ask all the normal questions.

I’ve been trying to bond with Spike as he/she is starting to kick more regularly and I can actually feel where he is my belly.  Usually it’s just a simple prayer or tap tap as I hear a song I like.  Mark’s favorite is sticking his mouth directly on my belly and yelling very loudly.   It’s hilarious.

I am still cleaning regularly and finding that my only physical hesitation at this point is bending over.  My belly gets in the way!

I also noticed that if I stand straight up in the shower and look down…I can’t see my feet!

OB Stats:

Weight:151

Heart rate: 150 bpm

Next Visit….Glucose Testing!  Apparently, I have to drink a bottle of questionable clear lemon lime liquid an hour before I come.  Luckily, I’ve been craving citrus drinks!

Post-Modern Mom Jeans…

Okay, I admit it.

I bought a pair of skinny jeans two sizes too big to wear for maternity jeans…and although they are quite similar to their predecessor, the ‘mom jean’, they are much new and improved with a nice low waist and dark wash…hopefully this is the closest I get to mom jeans!

In case all you out there don’t know what I am talking about when I say “Mom Jeans” here are some photos to assist you…

This is one part of motherhood I do not plan to embrace!

More Protien Please

On my quest to eat healthy, stay active and make sure I’m getting the amount of nutrients I need, I signed up for this sweet website, that helps you track your daily data.  According to your weight,  which pregnancy you are on, your height and some other factors, it helps you keep track of how many pounds you need to gain and calories you need (or don’t need) throughout the pregnancy.  It’s nice.

I also just found an exercise ball on Craigslist for $5, that I plan on incorporating into my strength training.  The website also goes through and suggests some really nice exercises for you and your ever growing tummy.  I’ve also heard these balls are nice for labor as well…we shall see!

Check out the website at:

http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/homepage.asp

20 Weeks

Hey All,

I have officially hit the halfway point and Spike has made an unofficial debut…I’m Showing!

I had my 3rd doc appoitment and 2nd ultrasound last week as well.

The ultrasound tec was so excited for us and our “cute” baby.  She did an awesome job of saying Spike instead of he/she, and told us everything is growing and developing great.  It’s always good to get a tec who loves her job, it makes it was more exciting.

For me, this ultrasound was huge relief, seeing the baby, tossing and turning.  I had been worried all the way up until this week because I hadn’t felt little Spike move very much, but ever since then he won’t stop moving!  It feels so wierd, like a mix between gas and muscles spasms.  I love it though!

This week also marks the first week of a photo log I am keeping of my ever growing belly.  I bought an old polaroid at a yard sale and some film and plan on taking a polaroid picture every 2-3 weeks until the big day.  I will also try to post those pics on here too, assuming they aren’t too inappropriate…haha.

So here are the specs:

Spike weighs about 9oz and is about 8in from head to toe.

Heart rate: 164 bpm

My wieght: 147 lbs. (that’s a total gain of 9 lbs!)

baby gear!

Alright, so hear comes the fun part of having a baby…registering!

For  a reference guide and safety check I am using the 7th Ed. of Baby Bargains.  I would highly recommend this book, especially to first timers who have no clue what to actually fork out dough on, and what to skimp on.  It also goes through and lists each product by grade, including quality and safety.  It’s pretty sweet.

(I would also love your reviews too!)

For all you out there wondering what it is I’ve been looking at for Spike the past couple of weeks here are some links:

Registry: Baby’s R Us – http://www.toysrus.com/registry/index.jsp

WishPot Online Registry -http://www.wishpot.com/list.aspx?uid=14291&list=58986 (this is really neat. It’s list of things that I’ve found online that I can’t necessarily get at Baby’s R Us.  You can purchase online or find a store to purchase).

Crib: Ikea – http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00116005

Bassinet: http://2modern.com/modern-baby/Cribs/Celery-Lullaboo-Rocking-Cradle

Pack and Play: http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/bab/742691991.html

Crib Sheets: Wal-Mart: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5684001#May+We+Also+Suggest

Nursery Art: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=10275

or these sweet wall decals. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13750455

Neutral Newborn Onsies/Sleepers: Old Navy – http://www.oldnavy.com/

Nursery Design: http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-baby-ms-modern-nursery-on-a-budget-044981

Carrier: Maya Wrap – http://www.mayawrap.com/viewItem.asp?ItemID=100003&UnitCde=1&Desc=Lightly%20Padded%20Sling&VendorDesc=&Search=N

Diaper Bag: Timbuk2 -http://www.timbuk2.com/tb2/products/totes/cargo-tote

Car Seat: Graco SnugRide from Baby’s R US -http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2662634

Strollers: Jogger/Day Use: Bob Revolution 12-inch from R.E.I. – http://www.rei.com/product/751325

Would love your comments!

The Business of Being Born

So there has been much baby conversation amongst the pregnant women in my church (there are 6 of us, not including one just born) and it has brought me to the library doing a ton of research.  I know very little about the process of labor and as I read, I find myself in a whirlwind of controversy and dense personal opinion.

I really hadn’t thought much about labor and delivery before I was pregnant.  I have heard from friends and family what they thought about it, and actually know women who have very strong convictions about it, but that’s about it.  I was raised with a pretty neutral opinion of labor that included doctors, hospitals and some drugs, so hearing other options, which doesn’t include any of these, seemed foreign and scary to me.

Books I picked up from the library: Cesarean Section:Understanding and Celebrating your child’s birth; Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way; A Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth; Gentle Birth Choices; Idiot’s Guide to Pregnancy ad Birth.

And I decided to watch Rikki Lake’s infamous birth documentary: The business of Being Born.

I would like to say that all these books were pretty neutral and I now have a thorough understanding of birth, but in reality, I’m whelmed.

My realization is, I live in Northern Kentucky.  My birthing options outside of a hospital are slim to none.  Even if i wanted something different and believed that it was better or “right” I don’t have it readily available to me.  I am sure that with “some friend of a friend of a guy I once knew”, I could find a home midwife that would support my completely natural birth, but with it being so rare…and seeing as I don’t actually own my own home (oh by the way Tiffany and Stephen, I will be having a baby in your basement tonight…) that just doesn’t seem worth the hassle.  And considering the most highly recommended birthing center (and only birthing center) in Cincinnati shut down because of insurance rates…I’m sort-of limited to a hospital.

From my research and through conversations, I find this to be a limitation because of the philosophy of the hospital institution as a whole.  When you think of a hospital, what do you think of?  For me it’s broken bones, heart-attacks and emergency room drama.  It’s a place of healing for the sick, recovery for the wounded and for some, unfortunately, a parting from this world to the next.  This is fine and all, and I am not saying that this isn’t necessary, but why have we taken an inherent natural God-given process such as birth and made it into a high stress, high risk, illness that must be medicated in order to be fixed.

I know that there are many people (including my friends) who would have experienced very devastating results had a hospital not been their place of delivery/birth, so I am not coming into this with fists saying ‘damn the man’.  The ‘man’ saved their life and their baby’s life.  What I am saying though is that from the very moment you walk into the hospital you are there to be “treated” as a patient.  Should I be ‘treated’ for labor if I don’t have to be?

The research has also equipped me to be able to say yes or no to certain procedures, which had I not researched, I would of thought were absolutely neccessary, such as ultrasounds, electronic fetal monitoring, and induction of labor w/ drugs.  Did you know that the latter two of these procedures actually increases cesarean delivery rates (Thinking Women’s Guide to Birth)?  Interesting.

And on top of all of this accumulation of information, I have to consider how does God see all of this?  What does the bible say about birth?  Genesis paints a graphic depiction labor pains being increased, does this mean I have to have a treacherous 48 hour labor in my bathtub?

My only conviction about birth from what I read and hear from God is to honor him with my choices.  He has provided me with the blessing, and the resources to learn, it is up to me to use them and give them back to Him in praise.   The only thing I can really do is lift my fears/needs/anxieties to Him and trust that he knows exactly where I am what I need.  That is pretty dang comforting.

My plan is monitor the rest of the pregnancy with a grain of salt.  Checking for serious problems and adjusting my birthing plan to meet those, if they arrive.  I am pretty confident in my doctor to work with me, not against me in seeing this plan out.  I am not setting myself up for utter disappointment if I happen to have any complications, but rather anticipation as to how this little one wants to make his/her entrance into the world.  I will let Spike decide.

life during the 15th week

okay, I admit it. today i drove to Kroger bought two boxes of fruit snacks. FRUIT SNACKS? Maybe I was actually craving fruit, but I am addicted to high fructose corn syrup.

I eat cereal like it’s my job, and I am telling you, gushers have never tasted so good.

I like being pregnant, because it’s not like I didn’t eat crazy things before, it just that now I can justify it and write about it on a blog!

Running is coming back to my normal schedule. I try to get out and run a slow mile on the track three days a week.  Yesterday I was tempted to take off my sweaty shirt and run in my sports bra (which is very normal in my eyes) but I had to stop and contemplate what that might look like to random passerby. I am not fully popping out, but I surely don’t have runners abs anymore.   I am somewhere in the wierd beer belly stage.  I kept my shirt on on, thank you.

the days I choose to run are also the ones that I choose to not do anything else that involves energy for the rest of the day.  typically, running gives me a nice natural boost, but lately I have to sleep at least an hour after I run to recoup.

It’s nice. I like being pregnant.